Thursday, July 29, 2004

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

A close encounter of the 'im never eating anything again' kind

It's not everyday that you get to eat the worst thing you've ever eaten and its not everyday that you have to wait an hour and fifteen minutes for an omlette.In most cases you wish these days would never come but unfortunately for me they happened to arrive within the space of a week.Let me start with the worst thing I've ever eaten(coz the omlette story is'nt that interesting,I just had to wait and hour and fifteen minutes for an omlette,thats it.).It was just a regular day,I was waiting for an admin. meeting in college(which takes place around 3 hrs after my lectures get done). Lamaan and I were sitting around and getting bored so I suggested that we go grab a bite at Kyani's,which is this cake shop cum fast food thingy near college.Little was I to know that I was heading right towards the worst assault on my taste buds in quite a while.My earlier experiences at Kyani's were not bad,they had quite a decent cheese roll and good chocolate mousse. We were joined at the scene by another friend Divyesh,who is sort of horizontally gifted and a very nice guy.So we started to pig out,I had a cheese roll and the guys had 2 chicken pattice each.This turned out to be the lull before the storm.After we finished our first course,Lamaan and I were still hungry,so Lamaan ordered a chocolate eclair and my eye,God knows directed by what evil influenece happened to chance upon something in the menu called 'Veg.potato Pattice'.This 'preparation' was cheap(only 10 bucks) and for some absurd reason i thought it sounded cool.So i ordered it.Lamaan's chocolate eclair turned out to be a piddly little thing that would'nt even feed an ant,so i had a good laugh at it but had I been prepared for what the 'Veg. potato pattice' would look like,I would'nt have dared to laugh.When it finally arrived,the three of us were shocked into silence for a good 15 seconds and then I began to cry and laugh at the same time.Its the kind of reaction you get when you see something thats terribly funny but at the same time horribly depressing,sort of hard to describe,you have to have experienced the feeling to know what im talking about.For the next ten minutes I just looked at the Veg.potato pattice and just laughed and cried.It looked like a batata wada. I had just paid ten bucks for one batata wada. But that unfortunately was not the end of my shock and misery. When I was able to gain some semblence of control over my emotions I grabbed a spoon and carved out a piece of the wada. This is an action that I will regret as long as I live. When i opened the wada what fell out(the stuffing) looked like some shit that had been assorted when the resteraunt itself was opened in 1935. I could not discern whether it was vegetable or meat or god knows what.Believe me, I have seen roadkill that is more easily identifiable. Unable to stand the sight I smothered the whole plate with tomato ketchup.By this time Lamaan and Divyesh were laughing so hard you would think they were breathing in laughing gas. This was the day I discovered that hunger can drive a man to perform great acts of bravery.Ignoring all the principles of sanity,I picked up a spoon and stuffed a morsel of the crap in front of me into my mouth.How my stomach did not turn inside out I shall never understand,let me just say that my tongue and stomach are very very tolerant of my brain and the decisions that it takes. Needless to say,I stood up,paid the bill and got the hell out of there as fast as I could.They say each cloud has a silver lining and so it is true in this case.After hours and hours of desparate contemplating I have discovered a lining that is not at all silver, rather a dull gray.Lamaan now has a story to go telling everyone he meets and all you people who think Dhananjoy Chatterjee should be hanged, just feed him nothing but Kyani's 'Veg.potato pattice' for a week and you have my guarantee that he will commit hara-kiri.

The 'Rag'ged Shirt

One of my principal aims of attending college was to find out what it is like to get ragged,but much to my dissappointmnet people told me that the subtle art of ragging is all but dead in bombay.Anyway without giving up hope,I gave in an application for the admin dept. at malhar because I heard the guys in charge of the dept. ragged prospective volunteers during the interview.So I went for the interview hoping to get ragged and I was'nt let down. The OG's(guys in charge of the dept.) took my case left,right and centre.On that day I was wearing this shirt which has skulls printed on it(which I think is pretty cool).Since that day I have'nt been ragged again but yesterday I wore the same skull shirt again and presto! some seniors caught hold of me.They had put up a poster in the canteen asking for voluteers for an organisation they called Animals for People-An organisation against Maneka.I was quite amused by the poster and stood and mulled over it for a few seconds,thats when the senior guys pounced on me.But I must admit its fun to get ragged and the seniors were really nice guys so they bought me a drink after they had their fun. Actually it was more like an ice-breaker so I made a couple of new friends.Unfortunately,there was this SYJC idiot who the caught after me who was'nt as lucky,he tried to be all macho and sarcastic and shit and the seniors 'raped' him (to put it mildly).In any case,the moral of the story is that if you ever feel the urge to get ragged just ask for my skull shirt and if you are in SYJC learn to keep your mouth shut!


Tuesday, July 27, 2004

The first post

Well actually im just following the trend.Now that I have absolutely nothing to do but go to college,bunk all the lectures and sit and oggle at the girls, I am glad that i have found this new and ingenious way of wasting my time.Its actually quite late and I should be going to bed if I want to make it to college in time but for some absurd reason im sitting up and listening to sweet home alabama?! and writing this stuff. For those who are interested Oiseaux Cereveau means bird brain in french although it might be spelt wrong.This is about the only thing i learnt in one month at alliance francaise.I watched parts of the India-Sri Lanka match today but was more interested in the biography of Fidel Castro on the history channel.He is the quite the dude! Otherwise im all busy with malhar (xaviers fest, for those of you underprivilaged few who dont know what it is).Well enough for the first post.